Being Defriended on Facebook
Most of the time when I am defriended on Facebook, I don't know about it. I currently have 1031 "friends" on Facebook (I know, that is ridiculous. I do not know who some of them are, and I'm pretty sure they don't know me). But yesterday I had 1032.
My son defriended me.
Why? He posted something about buying a new notebook computer, and I responded, "You bought another computer?" He took it as me being critical, or controlling, or something, and defriended me. We were all eating dinner yesterday and I let him know how angry I was about it, and he really didn't have an argument, and his daddy and grandma joined in the censure. I told him he would pay for it.
It hurt me a lot, but it's probably for the better. I don't need to stalk him. He's an adult, let him be an adult. I will also stop following his tweets. When he figures it out, I'll have a long chat about gratitude, about all the extra hours I worked to put him through college, about what it is to be a parent of a child with epilepsy (which he had), and I'll lay on some mommy guilt.
I have defriended people as well. It reminds me of the old Seinfeld show where he was trying to "break up" with a guy friend from elementary school. They had become friends because the other guy had a ping pong table and Jerry had wanted to play with him. They had remained friends but Jerry wasn't sure why because they had nothing in common and got on each other's nerves.
The only two people I have purposely defriended were two fellows I used to know (even dated one) who are now gay and I got tired of their outrageous comments. I have another dear friend who is gay and he doesn't advertise it in every post, every two hours. I also hid a person's comments who posts every five minutes about absolutely nothing (this is a man in his 40s) and a student who described his bowel movement.
Facebook has trivialized the meaning of friends, to be sure, but we had probably done that before the popularity of Facebook. An old pastor of mine said that you would be fortunate to have five really true friends in your life. As with most things today, we want more quantity, at the risk of shallowness, than we do quality, which takes a sacrifice in relationship. Not just the sacrifice of time, although that's a big one, but the sacrifice of self, opinions, hurt feelings, etc. We are too quick to say "A relationship is not worth it--the drama, the time, the listening."
My son defriended me.
Why? He posted something about buying a new notebook computer, and I responded, "You bought another computer?" He took it as me being critical, or controlling, or something, and defriended me. We were all eating dinner yesterday and I let him know how angry I was about it, and he really didn't have an argument, and his daddy and grandma joined in the censure. I told him he would pay for it.
It hurt me a lot, but it's probably for the better. I don't need to stalk him. He's an adult, let him be an adult. I will also stop following his tweets. When he figures it out, I'll have a long chat about gratitude, about all the extra hours I worked to put him through college, about what it is to be a parent of a child with epilepsy (which he had), and I'll lay on some mommy guilt.
I have defriended people as well. It reminds me of the old Seinfeld show where he was trying to "break up" with a guy friend from elementary school. They had become friends because the other guy had a ping pong table and Jerry had wanted to play with him. They had remained friends but Jerry wasn't sure why because they had nothing in common and got on each other's nerves.
The only two people I have purposely defriended were two fellows I used to know (even dated one) who are now gay and I got tired of their outrageous comments. I have another dear friend who is gay and he doesn't advertise it in every post, every two hours. I also hid a person's comments who posts every five minutes about absolutely nothing (this is a man in his 40s) and a student who described his bowel movement.
Facebook has trivialized the meaning of friends, to be sure, but we had probably done that before the popularity of Facebook. An old pastor of mine said that you would be fortunate to have five really true friends in your life. As with most things today, we want more quantity, at the risk of shallowness, than we do quality, which takes a sacrifice in relationship. Not just the sacrifice of time, although that's a big one, but the sacrifice of self, opinions, hurt feelings, etc. We are too quick to say "A relationship is not worth it--the drama, the time, the listening."
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