Loneliness and Its Effects

 Narcissistic personality disorder is described by the DSM V (the accepted authority on mental disorders, a reputation I will leave to others to discuss) as: 

The grandiose, thick-skinned, overt subtype is characterized by overt grandiosity, attention seeking, entitlement, arrogance, and little observable anxiety. These individuals can be socially charming, despite being oblivious to the needs of others, and are interpersonally exploitative. In contrast, the vulnerable, “fragile” or thin-skinned, covert subtype is inhibited, manifestly distressed, hypersensitive to the evaluations of others while chronically envious and evaluating themselves in relation to others. Interpersonally these individuals are often shy, outwardly self-effacing, and hypersensitive to slights, while harboring secret grandiosity. Both types are extraordinarily self-absorbed. Many individuals with narcissistic personality disorder fluctuate between grandiose and depleted states, depending on life circumstances, while others may present with mixed features.

I have lately noticed that people who live alone for long periods of time or have been ill for long periods can develop an extreme form of self-absorption. They are not narcissistic--don't get me wrong, because narcissism has a malicious element that does not characterize these folks. However,  their behavior can appear to be somewhat narcissistic.  Their behavior comes, I believe, from a form of self-protection. They feel there is no one else to watch out for them, so they are extra sensitive to how they must take care of themselves. Or they are so encompassed by pain and their illness that that's all they can talk about. 

 COVID has probably exacerbated this tendency in all of us. 

The question is not how to fix these dear folks, but how to be kind and helpful without being victimized by their self-absorption of which they are probably not even aware.