Post 77 of Study: Hebrews 13:4

The verses in 13 list a number of parting exhortations and instructions. They hardly need much analysis, especially not from me. 

⁴ Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral 

Again, the modern church gets a low grade on this one. Not that God grades on a curve or grades at all. The second part of the sentence makes it pretty plain that sex outside of marriage is grievous. We have become fairly laissez faire about premarital sex in the church. It’s not unusual for people to say, “Oh, that couple has been together six years, and married for one.” That’s code for “after living together for a long time, they finally got married.” Many have accepted that is the way young people are, and don’t see that it’s a recipe for a bad foundation in marriage, as ample social science research shows. Cohabitation is also very bad for children, but heh, why bring them into it? It’s all about the couple’s sexual freedom, isn’t it? They just couldn’t afford to get married (i.e., have a wedding).

I’m pretty sarcastic about this when it comes to so-called believers. Non-believers, it’s their business, although high rates of cohabitation lead to many public health problems.

Abstinence isn’t impossible. However, it’s unlikely if the couple hasn’t had strong teaching and a support structure that frowns on cohabitation. In my experience, long engagements are not a good idea.

We see this as a negative pronouncement, although in its context it is positive. Sex is good, marriage is good, even in this time of persecution (Paul recommends it might not be best for everyone in that climate).  Believers at that time may have struggled with the choice to marry in oppressive circumstances and with sexual temptation at the same time. We have no such excuses.