Contempt

The Gottman Institute studies what makes marriages work. This article is one of many that cites their work. https://www.sciencealert.com/7-things-that-predict-divorce-according-to-science 

See #4: Showing contempt for your partner

John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington and the founder of the Gottman Institute, calls certain relationship behaviors the "four horsemen of the apocalypse". That's because they predict divorce with scary-high accuracy:

1. Contempt: Seeing your partner as beneath you. (Gottman calls this behavior the "kiss of death" for a relationship.)
2. Criticism: Turning a behavior into a statement about your partner's character.
3. Defensiveness: Playing the victim during difficult situations.
4. Stonewalling: Blocking off conversation.

As Business Insider's Erin Brodwin reported, these conclusions are based on a 14-year study of 79 couples living across the US Midwest, which Gottman conducted along with University of California-Berkeley psychologist Robert Levenson.

And while that particular study was small, another decade of research supports the findings.___________

So, this morning I am listening to Tim Keller on the Sermon on the Mount and Matthew 5:21-22.  “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says,‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

He taught that Raca and “You fool” are basically saying, “You non-entity,” which is the essence of contempt. Hate and contempt are close, but not the same.

We are very much in danger of living lives of contempt for too many people and not realizing it.