A Tiny Glimpse into Addiction

I fractured my thumb in a fall September 20. I did not have it looked at until Thursday afternoon because of Workmen’s Compensation rigmarole. I will not have it set or at least seen by an orthopedist until Monday (tomorrow). It is still swollen and painful, and other injured parts (I fell flat out on concrete on my right side) are giving me trouble.  I turned my ankle on an acorn by an academic building. Typing this is probably not good, and the dog chewed up my brace.  I don’t know if he does this out of love (it smells like me) or aggression. Or doggie  stupidity.

It’s Sunday and I haven’t left the house or driven since Friday noon. That’s when I went to get the pain meds, an opioid I will not name here for concern about liability, prescribed for me at the clinic. And that is what this post is really about.

I do not even take Ibuprofen or Tylenol that much, so an opiod is another matter entirely. An hour or two after taking the first (and only) dose, I fell asleep. I awoke with an amazing feeling of euphoria and of course, absence of pain. I felt like everyone was my friend, I needed to stop assigning homework to my students, and I work too hard and should take it easy. That persisted until bedtime. I slept quite soundly until Saturday morning. I slept a lot (too much) Saturday and last night, but grew increasingly lethargic and unmotivated. I have a presentation I need to give for the College; I wrote about a paragraph of it. I did some reading, most notably the last 1/3 of Till We Have Faces, and some other work material. But besides getting the mail I didn’t leave the house.

This morning I stayed home from church because I have to drive 30 miles to get there and was concerned about my alertness to accomplish that.  But now at 8:45 I am starting to come out of the lethargy, slowly. This morning I was feeling very sorry for myself and only the Scriptures can address that. I will be sure to take a walk today, if not with the dog (he’s big and hard to walk at times, and it will be hard on my hands), write the presentation, do some other writing, and focus myself for the week ahead. So I’ve gone from euphoria, to fatigue, to lethargy, to depression, to starting to level off.

 This post is not about my injury but about the revelation of the effect of an opioid. Anyone who knows anything knows we have a crisis of opioid addiction and death of despair in this country; please read this from David French. https://frenchpress.thedispatch.com/p/a-short-story-of-men?utm_source=post-email-title&isFreemail=false&utm_medium=email 

I did not take another pill after the one on noon on Friday, because despite the short euphoria, I do not like lack of alertness and productivity or being unable to drive. I suppose I am risk averse about such things—I am sure many people on opioid pain meds drive anyway. But I realized that I could sustain those two feelings of no pain in my hand, elbow, knee, head, and side (falling full force on concrete just plain hurts) and of “all is happy with the world” if I took another pill. Then when it wore off (which took a while for me but would, progressively, take less time), I could take another…..

Plus, the prescription only cost me 82 cents.

This was my short peek—very short, I realize—into the power of addiction and the allure of opiods.  I realize some who get addicted have far more severe injuries; but some do not. Some have addictive personalities or other reasons for getting hooked, and the meds are powerful, so this is less about judgment than a glimmer of empathy and a warning. If your health care professional gives you a drug with –dol on the end, be very wise and careful, and know thyself.