Number 500 and counting

I will take a break from my series on public speaking to mention that this is post #500.  It's hard to believe I have found that much to write about, although in some respects I may take a hiatus for Lent to focus on some book writing.  But in celebration of #500, I have some other observations that might do for a while.

I hope everyone reading this is aware of and praying for the people of Egypt, especially but of course not limited to the Christians of all persuasions, who are about a 10% minority and in potential danger of exile and great persecution if the wrong groups get in power.  I fear that Americans, and no less Christians, are ignorant of what's going on and would rather focus on the latest antics of some reality show personage.

I was supposed to take a group of seven students from the Baptist Collegiate Ministries to Haiti at the end of the month (our spring break) for a week.  We were going to work outside of the city with children and youth.  I had finally gotten myself excited about it and was ready to go, except for being under a great deal of time pressure and a little concerned about my stamina (having some asthma problems).  However, our campus minister called Wednesday to say all the trips were cancelled due to political unrest.  The State Department has advised Americans to stay away.

This situation has found me conflicted, and conflicted about being conflicted. 
1.  Perhaps in His sovereignty God knows it's best not for me to go; I have an elderly mother and mother-in-law and a husband who needs care, among lots of other responsibilities.  Not to be entrapped by those, but they are real.  Perhaps something would happen when I'm gone; perhaps something would happen with the young people.
2.  Why did I want to go in the first place?  Was it some kind of "evangelo-tourism", something I'm seeing an awful lot of under the guise of "short-term missions trips"?  Of course, Haiti is not exactly a place you think of when you think of tourism.  So why?  Something to do?  I felt they "needed me?"  (oh, good heavens)  To allow the students the opportunity to go?  To have people think, "Wow, she went to Haiti?"  I honestly have to think I wanted to go because it sounded cool and a way to serve.  I figured people were more likely to say, "You are a maniac for planning to go down there."
3.  And why do I think this is in any way about me, when the Christian and humanitarian workers down there are being victimized?  Good grief.

Issue #3:  The other day I went to the dentist for a cleaning.  Anyone who knows me knows I do not have the straightest teeth in the world.  That's an understatement.  In addition to one of my front teeth overlapping the other, I have a small mouth and big teeth that are too crowded, and the front teeth are cracked--although it's not noticeable unless you take a close picture and blow it up ten or fifteen times.  As my dentist did, because he does "aesthetic" dentistry.  Now, I realize the cracks are a problem and I will have to take care of that one of these days.  Maybe.  But the dentist and his assistant went where they probably shouldn't. 

They implied that I didn't smile enough because I was self-conscious of my teeth, and that I had poor self-esteem!  At first, because it's a principle of communication I live by, I considered this and saw there might be some truth to it, since I'm not the biggest smiler (or hugger) in the world.  But after the initial consideration, I rejected it and actually was pretty perturbed.  One, because he doesn't know if I smile or not, or am self-conscious about my teeth (which I've had 55 years and am pretty attached to), and two, it's a pretty big deal to imply someone has poor self-esteem.  If I do, it's not because of my teeth--I could think of lots other reasons.  Like all women, I have battled with self-acceptance all my life, but that is nothing new, and I really doubt some teeth implants would change that!

Secondly, I got the impression that this dental work with cost upwards of $5,000 or much more, and there is no way I would sink that much into my teeth until they just crack and break off, which is doubtful.  I can't justify that kind of money on vanity when there is so much more that it could be used for.  That's poor stewardship.  So now I'm seriously considering changing dentists.

I have really nice students this semester.  That is usually the case.  I like where I work very very much.
However, I got a memo from our VP today about the averages on teacher evaluations.  There are faculty in my department that actually get perfect scores on those things!  I don't see how that is possible, how every student in a class would rate any instructor perfectly on every category!  I average about 4.6 out of 5, which I think is pretty good, but not in my department.  So I really don't know what the problem is.  The students' comments are very positive, except that I may be too demanding, and some think they should get As on their speeches.  So this is a little bit of a downer,  My average is the departmental average.  Well, I guess I shouldn't think that's so bad.  But I'd like to think after 33 years that my teaching is a little bit better than average.

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