Saturday, March 09, 2013

Apologies to my Friends

I feel that I have dropped out of public existence lately, so please do not take it personally if I seem to be ignoring you or avoiding you.  I am not, and I am mindful of those I care for.  It's just one of those seasons of life where certain matters have to be dealt with and others must be put aside for a better time.

In May I started doctoral work, and because it is a program that is designed to take about three years (or a little longer), it's pretty intense.  And I overdo everything, am obsessive-compulsive about school work, scholarship, grades, and my writing, so I take probably much more time to get the work done.  Additionally, my mind is not as sticky as it used to be (don't do doctoral work in your late fifties, for maximum effect).  It's all in there, but it doesn't come to the top as fast either.  I love what I am studying, but it's taking up a lot of time now that I also have to start working on the dissertation. 

Second, I have a full-time job that is pretty demanding.  While I don't have to be in the office 40 hours a week, I put in over 35 hours a week with everything--teaching four to five classes, committee work, personal work with students, leading a campus organization, leading a professional organization (and running a conference two weeks ago), etc.  This week was spring break and other than time spent in the car, time spent cleaning my nasty house (which does look better somewhat), time walking the dogs, and a few movies, I have worked nonstop.

Third, my mother developed cancer last spring and I am spending more time with her as she goes through chemotherapy.  I am not doing full-time care, so don't get me wrong, but I take her to the doctor and treatments, do shopping and errands, etc.  Considering her age and condition, I believe I should spend the time I can with her.  If I had known that she would get sick, I would probably have not started the graduate work, but such it is. 

To say nothing of life in general, which I have tried to minimize but it still exists.  Bills must still be paid, laundry done, meals fixed and eaten, etc. 

So, I don't write this to whine, because I am very blessed with, to quote Ann Voskamp, a thousand gifts.  I write it to ask for understanding if I cannot get as deeply involved with other people's lives or commit to any more projects.  I would do the same for you.

1 comment:

Becky Wooley said...

I understand. I prefer friends who are faithful at a distance--always loving, but only occasionally needed or needy. Bless you. I hope you go for the PhD.

This might just change your life!