Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith

I recently bought and read this book, having seen an article about it on the Christianity Today website.

I have mixed feelings about this book.  At first, I didn't believe it.  It sounded too good to be true, like someone had made up the story or embellished the details to make the conversion more dramatic.  But it is totally true, and she was a lesbian English professor in feminist studies, etc. who came to Christ. 

Dr. Butterfield is totally honest in the book, and I was quite enthralled by it until about 2/3 in.  She is honest about her own past, her own motives, her own mistakes as an early Christian, and the mistakes made by her friends and counselors during her early Christian walk.  For the first half I thought this would be an excellent book to give a nonChristian, especially one dealing with GLBT issues.  And I still think the first part is an endearing and searing testimony to God's power; she calls her conversion a "train wreck" because it was so unplanned, so out of nowhere, and so powerfully devastating to what her life and worldview were.  So, I would recommend the first 1/2 to 2/3; then, put it down.

At that point, two things happen in the narrative (this is not a reflection on her writing, which I enjoyed, or her honesty, but on the turn the book and her life take that I don't think everyone would be ready for).  For some reason, after years of lesbianism, within six months after her conversion she finds herself engaged to a friend who helped her become a Christian.  As I read it, I said, "What?"  How could she have overcome the patterns of life inherent in a different sexual orientation (I'll use those words) so quickly?  Of course, the small group of Christians in her church were elated that the former butch woman was now looking "normal" and getting married to someone who wanted to be in the ministry.  No, no, no, I'm thinking.  This marriage would be a train wreck; her being a pastor's wife would be a train wreck.

Fortunately, she realized it, and even more fortunately, she forgave the people who didn't stop her from making such a mistake; she made the decision to end the engagement on her own when her fiance's deeper problems became apparent.  But while she is brutally honest here, and I appreciate it, I'm not sure that is something I would want a nonChristian to read. 

Secondly, she goes off into an apologetic for the somewhat unusual worship practices of the church to which she is committed and in which she serves now as a pastor's wife. It is a small Presbyterian denomination.  She spends a chapter explaining why she concluded that singing psalms only (with no instruments) is correct for worship.  Oh, my.  As a Baptist who loves the rich hymnody of the last 2000 years, that was hard for me to take!  I don't think it added anything to the book.

She ends with the wonderful story of her and her husband's adoption of four children and their foster parenting of others, and the disappointments in that.  She is a person I would want to meet.  She homeschools but sees the problems with it.  Her honesty is refreshing but at the same time all encompassing and hard to take.  She is an academic through and through, even now as a full-time mom. 

So, if you can get a copy and want to give the first half to an unbelieving friend, do so.  But do a little surgery on the book first.

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