Updates on my life
I will be moving permanently into a new office tomorrow because the Communication Faculty are being culled out from the Humanities Faculty. When the computer is moved, I'm officially moved. Last week I just dumped all my crap into the new place; tomorrow I start to make sense of it. I'm ambivalent about it. What I am not ambivalent about is all my crap. It's shameful. I could get rid of half of everything I own and still have far too much. Books, old files, art work, books, crafts, gifts to regift, gifts I store for future giving. More books. Lots of clothes that I still wear even thought they are well over ten, even fifteen years old.
I did something today that shocked a few people. I got on the back of my husband's motorcyle and we went about ten miles around the area. I will not get on the interstate (I did back in the '80s, but not now--too many trucks). It was fun once I got past the initial panic attack.
I do not like feeling that I exist in a church to further the pastor's career. I really, really don't. Nor do I like feeling that the church doesn't care if I'm there or not as long as it gets my "dues."
Recent quote I heard from Pope Francis: "Faith is not a spotlight that dispels all darkness and doubt but a lamp through the darkness and doubt." However, truth is a spotlight that dispel darkness and doubt. Heard an interesting lesson on trust and truth this morning from Beth Moore (old tape series). More on that later.
I heard a good sermon this morning on temptation. Nothing flashy, just the truth. I wrote down the sins I fight with. Interesting, not food so much anymore. I have not had deserts in 3.5 months. Mine were
intellectual pride, dependence on man's (and women's) approval, lack of courage, easy annoyance and defensiveness, giving into fatigue too easily, wasting time on TV, lack of prayer, doubt, avoiding people, succumbing to discouragement too easily, desiring recognition too much, and the big one that cannot be named but which is the deepest of my life. We had a spiritual confrontation over it. It was why I got on the motorcycle--to put a person, rather than my agenda, first. My husband really wanted me to ride with him.
Yesterday in doctoral class we had to tell the new professor something about us that the others didn't know. I told them about David and that I paid off my house. Rick said, "And she's an author." I like to say I am a novelist. It's more precise.
I hope to use my time off to send my recent novel to a publisher. At least I will have tried. It's the best thing I have written.
The sooner I get this degree done, the sooner I can live my life. And I have no idea what I will do after I get it. Right now, working 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, sounds awful. But no longer teaching freshman sounds good, too. I really want to write more than anything, and not have to spend my time on things I don't want to, like grading grammar tests.
I did something today that shocked a few people. I got on the back of my husband's motorcyle and we went about ten miles around the area. I will not get on the interstate (I did back in the '80s, but not now--too many trucks). It was fun once I got past the initial panic attack.
I do not like feeling that I exist in a church to further the pastor's career. I really, really don't. Nor do I like feeling that the church doesn't care if I'm there or not as long as it gets my "dues."
Recent quote I heard from Pope Francis: "Faith is not a spotlight that dispels all darkness and doubt but a lamp through the darkness and doubt." However, truth is a spotlight that dispel darkness and doubt. Heard an interesting lesson on trust and truth this morning from Beth Moore (old tape series). More on that later.
I heard a good sermon this morning on temptation. Nothing flashy, just the truth. I wrote down the sins I fight with. Interesting, not food so much anymore. I have not had deserts in 3.5 months. Mine were
intellectual pride, dependence on man's (and women's) approval, lack of courage, easy annoyance and defensiveness, giving into fatigue too easily, wasting time on TV, lack of prayer, doubt, avoiding people, succumbing to discouragement too easily, desiring recognition too much, and the big one that cannot be named but which is the deepest of my life. We had a spiritual confrontation over it. It was why I got on the motorcycle--to put a person, rather than my agenda, first. My husband really wanted me to ride with him.
Yesterday in doctoral class we had to tell the new professor something about us that the others didn't know. I told them about David and that I paid off my house. Rick said, "And she's an author." I like to say I am a novelist. It's more precise.
I hope to use my time off to send my recent novel to a publisher. At least I will have tried. It's the best thing I have written.
The sooner I get this degree done, the sooner I can live my life. And I have no idea what I will do after I get it. Right now, working 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, sounds awful. But no longer teaching freshman sounds good, too. I really want to write more than anything, and not have to spend my time on things I don't want to, like grading grammar tests.
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