Sunday, July 03, 2016

Girls and Being Noticed


“I waited to be told what was good about me . . . All that time I had spent readying myself, the articles that taught me life was really just a waiting room until someone noticed you—the boys had spent that time becoming themselves.” (from Alyssa Wilkinson’s article in CT, quoting Emma Cline in THE GIRLS
Maybe not that simple.  Guys are not Neantherdals with no empathy or self-awareness.  For every Brock Turner there are 100 “good guys” who would pull Brock Turner off the unconscious victim.  I raised one and I have plenty of friends with “good guys” for sons.  And there is plenty of research to show that while girls have been able to flourish in the education system, guys are left behind.  
But the truth remains that even today girls seem wired to “wait to be noticed” and even worse to gauge their worth on being noticed.  I see it in myself.  Let no one despise your woman-ness.  Not your femininity, which has been conflated with domesticity (although essential housekeeping skills should be part of one’s upbringing) or consumerism (feather pens and 100 pairs of name brand shoes in a huge closet) or moodiness.

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