Chemo Ladies

My mother bonded with three other women when she took chemotherapy for over a year at an oncologist's practice. I still meet with two of them and their daughters, seven years later. Two of the women have died. The other two are doing well. One has other medical problems, but not the cancer.

It is a miracle they are still here, considering the extent of their cancer (this practice works with reproductive cancers, not breast). I rejoice that they are still with their families and living productive lives. They are phenomenal ladies.

So why them? I do not say that in any type of cynicism; I celebrate that two of the four are left, since zero of the four could be still alive. I have heard many cancer patients and survivors say, more or less, getting cancer is like a crapshoot, a roll of dice. Having treatments work may be too. I don't know. There are many genetic and lifestyle issues involved, and some treatment differences.

We are told positivity makes a difference; I subscribe to prayer over "positivity." Prayer is ultimately more realistic than positivity, although people with a secular mindset would not understand that. Prayer starts with the seriousness of the diagnosis and does not try to sugarcoat it. It puts the healing where it belongs, in God's gift of wisdom to healers, not in some happy thoughts. (However, I do understand that mental attitude does have an effect on stress and physical effects of stress, such as certain hormones, affects healing.)

This article addresses how an insistence on positivity might be worse. It also gives some good strategies for communication.

https://forge.medium.com/the-cure-for-toxic-positivity-155278b7daaa

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